Scars of your Love
by SoonerBrookieforCaptainSwan
Summary: "Dark One, your revenge is so close. I can feel that you're conflicted, that the light is poisoning you. You're wondering if you still truly love her." When Hook hesitates to act on the decision he has made as the Dark One, Nimue gives him an out that takes away his powers and sends him flying back in time. Will he ever find his way back to Emma? Canon divergence after 5x11.
1. Chapter 1: Another Way

**Author's Note: Although I've hardly written for OUAT, Captain Swan has been my OTP for years… ever since our two lovers climbed their first beanstalk. I've always been one for angst, so you can bet there will be plenty of it in this particular story… But never fear! I'm a sucker for happy endings, I just sometimes tend to make my readers (and myself!) suffer before we get there. I've rarely dabbled with canon divergence, so please be patient with me as I explore the plot bunny that has been plaguing me for years.**

 **As always, thanks for reading!**

XxXx

 **Chapter One: Another Way.**

 **"There's a side to you that I never knew, never knew…** "

" _That's why you'll always be an orphan."_

Hook smirked at the memory of his own cruelty, relieved to once more be the harsh pirate that had inspired legendary fear across realms. Long gone was the love-sick puppy dog who had followed the so-called Savior through space and time, becoming positively giddy with each smile, each small token of returned affection. He had thought her ultimate gift had been her 'I love yous,' uttered after months of knowing (and enjoying!) his feelings.

He should have realized.

Realized that Emma Swan did not know what love was. Not truly, not outside of her son and parents. Not as a lover and partner. Despite being the product of true love, a savior once filled with the lightest magic, she was stunted. Unable to trust and share, unable to take his hand and leap with him into the good, and unable to make sacrifices and difficult decisions in the bad.

So unlike Milah.

His Milah.

A fresh wave of rage surged through his darkened heart as he thought of his beautiful, lost love, and the two centuries he had spent chasing that bloody crocodile.

"Damn you, Swan," he growled to the ocean, once again furious that he had let her distract him from his mission, his one purpose in his blasted life… avenging Milah. She had tricked him into believing that her sugary light brand of love meant more, went deeper, than the connection he had shared with his brunette beauty.

He glanced down at her name tattooed on his forearm, a centuries-old reminder to remain steadfast in his journey for revenge, no matter the cost.

Henry. Mary Margaret. David.

Regina. Robin. The entire sleepy, cursed town.

That blasted wench, the other dark one…

Emma.

None of them would pull him away from his renewed determination to make Rumpelstiltskin pay for Milah's spilt blood, and to make sure of that, the angry Captain Hook decided they must all be included in on that debt.

A debt the Dark Swan would pay first.

He felt her kindred magic then, as if his thoughts had summoned her to his side, but he refused to turn. Instead, he continued to gaze out at the waves, darkening where ocean met sky. He knew he had Excalibur tucked away, safe from her damn heroics, and was sure she knew the same. He couldn't feel the fight in her like he had earlier in her home, sure his trick of using the boy's likeness had deflated the little hope remaining in her heart. Perhaps it had even felt like one last betrayal. The proverbial nail in the coffin of their love.

Good.

"Silent again, I see," he smiled finally, but his smirk did not touch his angry gaze, "You are a masochist, aren't you, Dark one?" He chuckled darkly, tapping his hook against her leather clad shoulder. "Shouldn't you be huddled with your parents, scheming away in order to defeat me?" He exhaled a hot breath on his hook before rubbing it against his coat as if polishing it, "Or did our last encounter prove that you can't win?"

"They're having dinner," Emma breathed finally, her blonde lashes fluttering against her cheeks as a tear traced down her alabaster skin. "A goodbye at Granny's."

"And you're not there because…" He cocked one eyebrow, feigning interest. Emma remained silent, and Hook rolled his eyes, turning around. "Right. Well, love, once again, you're doing what you do best and-"

"Pushing away the people I love." She finished for him, steadfastly facing the harbor as she repeated the words he had spewed at her earlier.

"Aye. But don't worry, Swan. I no longer carry a interest in watching." He stepped away from her, reveling in the heartbreak that practically radiated from her.

"I will save them," she breathed tearfully, sounding more like Emma than she had since she had become tethered to the dagger. Her broken promise halted him, and he glanced over his shoulder.

"You can't without Excalibur, and she's safe with me," He reminded her before continuing up the dock. "You should have said your goodbyes, Dark One. You'll once again be alone soon enough."

Satisfied that he had fulfilled his threat of hurting her like she had him, he summoned Excalibur to his hand, prepared to fulfill his dark plan.

XxXx

"Mom, Dad! Henry!"

Hook watched as Emma ran past him to embrace her family, ignoring the irritating tug on his heart when she tearfully apologized for her failure. But before that shot of light could bloom into anything more than a flicker, Regina stepped forward as if to plead with him. Brushing her away with a wave of his hand, he glanced towards Nimue, silently begging her to strengthen the darkness in him.

"It's time," she breathed in her cruel, clipped voice, smiling as if to encourage him.

"No," Emma whispered, her eyes panicked, "You are not taking the people I love!"

Nimue's response was instant as she stopped the woman in her tracks, her taunts lost on Hook as he watched Emma struggle. He couldn't breathe himself as he watched her gasp for air, the darkness in his heart warring with the warmth and light that had once belonged to the Savior. The darkness was winning, as it had for days, but for the fist time since Zelena had returned his memories, he allowed himself to humor the light lingering in his soul.

Emma's rare but dazzling smile, a precious gift that usually had to be well-earned. The beautifully silly moments they were able to find amidst their all too serious existence. Dinners at Granny's and coffee laced mornings in her yellow driving contraption.

The 'I love yous' in Camelot. The stolen kisses during rare private moments in the apartment she had shared with her parents, brother, and son. The slow, steady burning that had turned into a full-flamed need for her.

His dark heart ached when Emma's terrified green eyes met his, pleading with him to see her.

"That's enough," he ordered before he could process his decision, the war in his soul tormenting him. He sensed Nimue's shock as his hand twitched, hesitating only a moment before raising Excalibur.

As if sensing her opportunity, Nimue raised her other hand toward Hook.

"Dark One, your revenge is so close," she simpered, tilting her head slightly as she kept Emma at bay. "I can feel that you're conflicted, that the light is poisoning you. You're wondering if you still truly love her."

Hook took a shuddering breath as the light urged him to raise Excalibur; he could sacrifice himself, save them all. But the all-consuming dark pushed it back each time, reminding him what he wanted, what he needed. He nodded once, bringing a chilling smile to Nimue's face. She released Emma then, causing the dark savior to fall back.

"There's another way, you know."

Hook stiffened, and Nimue nodded, aware that she had his attention.

"Yes… you can get what you want, complete this mission, but wash your hands-hand- of the deed itself." She took a calculated step towards the sword-wielding pirate, tapping his hook. "You see, each Dark one can undo one deed from any one of his or her predecessors."

"Killian, don't listen-" he waved his hand towards Emma, shutting her up as he nodded for Nimue to continue.

"What do I have to do?" He asked as he dropped Excalibur to his feet, ignoring the gasps that came from the marked group behind him.

"Just think it into existence, Captain," she whispered, her dark eyes glowing as Killian Jones closed his eyes.

The ancient entity smiled; she had won.

XxXx

A sleeping Killian groaned as he sensed the sunrise, shattering the peaceful bliss of the early morning. He didn't want to open his eyes yet, dreading the moment each morning when he had to admit it was time to wake up and pull himself out of bed. He had to chuckle at himself. Time away from the sea had made him soft… there was something to be said of that whole 'sleeping in' thing that seemed to be so popular in Storybrooke.

"Nothing worse than the bloody sun slapping you awake, eh love?" Hook grumbled as he stretched his limbs, sore in that delicious manner that could only mean he had spent the night ravishing the woman he loved. When there was no answer, he pushed his hand across the bed to find her, completely intent on pulling her naked form close in order to pleasure her once more before she had to return to the crowded apartment.

"Swan?" he frowned when he realized his bed was empty, "Emma?" he reluctantly blinked one eye open, then the other, bolting upright when he registered the rocking motion of his quiet cabin- the Jolly Roger was at sea.

"Bloody hell," he swore as he pushed back the blankets in order to swing his legs over the side of his bed, reaching with his hook to pull his discarded pants from the cabin floor. He balked when the fingers of his left hand curled around the material, and he dropped his pants as if they were on fire. He tilted his head as he flexed his fingers in front of his face, blinking when he realized the limb lacked that foreign curse that had plagued him when Gold had returned it to him before. It felt natural, fresh… his.

"What dark magic is this?" he breathed, leaping out of bed and grabbing his clothes. It wasn't until his pants were halfway up his bare legs that he realized they were not jeans as he had become accustomed to wearing in his new world, but supple leather, well-worn and soft to the touch. He glanced around the cabin, the rest of his clothes scattered over his desk and floor: old boots, jewelry, a heavy, leather coat.

"Emma," he whispered as he slumped on his bed, realizing that there must have been another disaster, another curse. Where were they? He ignored the nagging feeing that there was much more he should be remembering, a sense of despair and dread settling in his stomach. Desperate to find his love, he buckled his belt before rushing bare-chested and bootless to his cabin door, only for it to swing open before he could reach it. He held his hand up to block the blinding sun that filled his quarters, dropping it when he heard a cherished laugh surround him, loud and crystalline rather than muted by hundreds of years' worth of separation.

"Milah?" he murmured, his desperation melting away into wonder.

XxXx

End Note: I know, I know! Don't hate me! I promise, this is a Captain Swan Fic all the way! 😊 All magic comes with a price… and angst is that price!

Reviews are love!


	2. Chapter 2: A New Mission

**Author's Note: Hello, hello! Quick update, I know, but I was so eager to continue this story. Do you ever have the urge to tell a tale that's so strong, you dream about it? Well, that's where I am. I know this story, especially being a canon divergence, may be different than what you're used to… Especially because we have all been so invested in the canon story for so long. But I have always felt that there were a lot of missed opportunities when our beloved heroes returned from the Underworld, especially when it came to discussing what the darkness had made Hook do. Hook was forgiven, just as he should have been… but I hope to explore what other roads the Charming Family, Emma, and Hook himself could have taken to find that forgiveness. It's pretty quiet… Please let me know if you're out there reading! 😊**

 **Also! I updated the first chapter a tiny bit. Killian has no memories of his time as the Dark One, and doesn't know why or how he has ended up in another time and place.**

 **XxXx**

 **Chapter Two: A New Mission**

 _ **"Without you I feel torn, like a sail in a storm…"**_

"Milah?" Killian whispered again, shaking his head as he took a half-step towards the long-lost beauty, "You're…" He touched her cheek, his breath catching when his fingers brushed against warm, soft flesh. He cupped her face in the palm of his right hand, still holding his left to his side out of habit. "You're… Are you real?"

"Killian, still pissed, are you?" Milah laughed lightly, pressing a quick peck to his hand before stepping around him. "Drank your weight in rum last night, you did, and I thought there was no way we'd get you out of that tavern before Lord Pemberley realized we had nabbed his loot." She picked up his shirt, tossing it over her arm before opening one of the heavy drawers beneath his bed. "It's nearly midday, love. You were sleeping the day away like a right squire. The men won't appreciate a drunk, lazy Captain, you know." She looked up, pausing when she caught his shocked gaze.

"Why're you looking at me like that?" She asked, turning back to her task.

"I just missed you, Love," he murmured honestly, unable to look away from the woman he had missed and thought of for hundreds of years. He took the clean shirt she handed to him, nearly intoxicated by her presence. He had wished for so long to have just one more moment with her, one more day to memorize her every feature, and now she was there in front of him. His heart soared to see her so full of life, just as he had remembered her, but his soul was still buzzing with so much worry, so many questions. If he was there, with Milah… Where was his Emma? Sensing his trepidation, Milah closed the drawer, tossing the rum-soaked shirt into the corner.

"Killian," she tilted her head as she took a careful step forward, resting her palm against the side of his neck, her thumb brushing along his jaw, "Is this still about what happened last month? With Rumple? I'm fine, Love. I'm here." Killian's blue eyes flashed at the mention of the Crocodile's name.

"Rumpelstiltskin," he hissed, that name reminding him of all the rage and hatred that had coursed through him for so long, "He took your heart, he-"

"He didn't," Milah rested her forehead against his, her hand sliding down to his chest, "Well, yes. He did, but I'm okay. I'm here now. We both know what he wanted to do, that he wanted me dead, but we're fine now."

"No, but-"

"You know he couldn't do that in front of Bae." Killian stepped out of Milah's embrace as he struggled to keep up, sure the whole damn conversation had to be a dream. He must have had one too many brews with Robin Hood at Granny's again as they battled at Darts in order to impress their ladies. That was it… In no time Emma would come looking for him, and wake him up with coffee and those disgusting pastries-pop tarts- she tried to pass off as breakfast.

"This is a dream," He breathed his suspicions into existence, nodding as he held up one finger to her, "Yes, that's it. Because Baelfire wasn't there. The crocodile pulled out your heart, and he crushed it as if it were- as if you, love- were nothing! You're dead. You died in my arms, Milah, two hundred years ago."

"Died? No, I-" She glanced over her shoulder when there was a playful shout for Killian to join his men on deck, and she shot him a look before poking her head out of the galley. "Oy! You, boy! Stop being a right git and bring your Captain some fresh drink, yeah? Go on." She shook her head as she ducked back down to join him, chuckling despite her worry for her pirate.

"Andrew?" Killian remembered almost fondly, realizing it was around that time when one of his favorite crew members had joined their ranks after being rescued from a shipwreck.

"Andrew." Milah confirmed with a playful roll of her eyes, the mirth in her eyes fading as she once again stepped towards her Captain. "Killian, you're scaring me. You were standing right there when Bae caught us, caught _him._ I have my heart, love. Feel it." She reached for his left hand and pressed it against her chest, smiling as he gazed down at his hand against her skin.

"It's beating," he whispered incredulously, although he could remember the Crocodile crush her heart like it was yesterday… he had watched the dust of her life carry on the sea breeze, just as she passed in his embrace.

"You see? I'm fine. Too much drink last night has you going mad, darling," she gently let go of his hand, although he sensed there was more to her story as her lip quivered. She knew him well, and he didn't have to ask before she was telling him what was bringing her sorrow.

"Bae will never forgive us, now that he knows the truth of my decision," she breathed, a tear slipping down her cheeks, "All of those dreams, the talk of us being a family… They're over." Killian sighed, his heart breaking for the woman he had loved so long ago, unable to share that he was relieved to hear that Bae would remain with his father… It's the way it had to be so that he could meet Emma, have Henry.

"Don't cry, Milah," he murmured as he brushed her tear away with his fingertips, "You'll find a way to your boy. If I'm sure of nothing, I'm sure of that." His empty words caused guilt to wash over him, so he kissed away another of her tears. He felt himself being transported back in time when his lips touched her skin, melting into her kiss when she turned her head. Her kiss was achingly familiar and passionate, a touch he had missed for so long. For years, he was sure that no other touch would reach his soul, could bring him love or joy like hers had. He had been sure he had been meant to live a shallow existence, driven only by his bloodlust and need for revenge.

But then, Emma Swan had come into his life. She had filled his dark, tormented soul with a glowing light, and given him a reason to live outside of his anger. Love. Friendships. A family that she had begun to share with him. People who he would count on if ever again that darkness were to beckon him back to the edge.

But if this place, this time with Milah, was to be believed… All of those people were hundreds of years away from even existing.

Just as Milah parted her lips, her tongue gliding along his, Killian pulled away. His lips tingled from her kiss, as if they had missed her touch every bit as his soul had, but he didn't feel joy or relief as he always imagined he would if he ever had the chance to hold her again.

"I better get dressed, love," he managed, placating her with a smile as she gazed at him, shocked that he hadn't accepted her advances, "I'll join you on deck, shortly." After a long moment, she complied with a curt nod, and Killian knew he had hurt her feelings.

Collapsing in his captain's chair behind the large oak desk, he ran his palm over his face, struggling to understand what had happened to him. Who had sent him back? What was the purpose of tormenting him with a reunion with Milah, his heart's one desire for so long, when his soul was now crying out for another? He sighed, tapping his left hand against the desk much like he would tap his hook when he was thinking.

"I will find you, Emma," he breathed as he unfurled one of his many maps, then another, "I will always find you."

 **XxXx**

"Captain?"

Killian looked over his shoulder, unmoving from his spot on the bow, looking out over the open waters. He offered a small smile to the approaching young man, then turned back to the ocean. Andrew seemed to take it as an invitation to join him and stepped up next to his leader.

"What's on your mind, lad?" Killian sighed after a long moment, leaning his arms against the wood railing of his ship, "It may be years since we sailed together like this, but your tell is just the same in Storybrooke as it is here."

"Storybrooke, sir?" Killian chuckled humorlessly at his slip, waving his hand.

"Never mind. Now come, share your thoughts or leave me be, Andrew. You know I like to be alone with the sea at sunset."

"Yes sir. Well, we… and I mean… the men and I…" Andrew sighed, mimicking Killian's relaxed position against the rail, "Look. Where the hell are we going? We asked Miss Milah when we changed course, but she-"

"Is Milah the Captain of this ship?" Killian asked, clearly irritated.

"No, sir."

"Pray tell, Mr. Copeland, who _is_ the Captain of The Jolly Roger?"

"You are, Captain," Andrew stood up straight, clearly loathe to irritate the pirate leader further, "Killian Jones is captain of The Jolly."

"Good. Relax, lad," he sighed, his gaze returning to the water.

There was a long pause between the two sailors, before Killian turned his attention to the darkening skies. Where he came from, he and Andrew had sailed together for many, many years, and Killian had come to know him as a confidant and friend. Someone who was loyal to him and his cause, whether it be swashbuckling in Neverland or docking in Storybrooke. While the other men were just as loyal to Milah as himself, Killian knew instinctively that he could trust Andrew with the complicated nature of his current woes.

"Milah didn't tell you where we're going, Andrew, because she doesn't know," he shrugged, lacing his fingers together, the ability to do so still shocking him.

"Sir?" Andrew was rightfully confused; there were no secrets between Captain Jones and his beloved Milah.

"I have come back in time, some way or how," Killian whispered so the rest of the crew couldn't overhear them, "I don't know whether it's a curse, or an accident… or hell, the Gods finally saw to it that my damned soul got what it deserved." He felt a twinge of guilt, referring to his long-awaited reunion with Milah as being damned.

"In my time, Milah's son did not come along to stop Rumpelstiltskin, as he did last month. Milah was murdered, and I spent literal centuries grieving our love. We hunted that damn crocodile across realms and came close on more than one occasion." He paused, thinking of the woman who had halted his blind, raging mission, and his heart ached.

"If… If that's true, sir," Andrew began carefully, knowing better than to openly doubt his captain again, "Then we know what brought you back! You must have earned great favor, because Miss Milah's life was spared. She's alive, and you're together." He nodded, his smile faltering when he registered Killian's heartbroken expression. "Captain?"

"I loved Milah with every fiber of my being, lad," he whispered, afraid to let anyone doubt that fact, "For so long, she was the center of my world, long after the Dark One crushed her heart and took her from me. I loved her, and I love her still. But…"

"But, sir?"

"But… in this other place… this other time… I met a woman. A woman who has not become only the center of my world, but the entire universe in which I exist." A wistful smile danced across his lips as he thought of meeting Emma, how impressively brave she had been in that first adventure they had together. How her fire had inspired him, even as she left him atop that beanstalk. "She's all light and magic, a beauty who fought with a man drowning in his own rage and saved him. She loves with such a ferocity that it's intimidating, even to her. It scares her so, that she often pulls away, afraid of all of that… that feeling. But she always comes back."

"To you, sir?" Andrew whispered, honored that his captain was sharing these thoughts with him, despite what they must mean for Milah.

"Ay, to me. And to her family. She's an actual savior, lad. A constant for us all." He turned his sad blue eyes towards Andrew's, pleading with him to understand. "I must find her. Find all of them." He watched as the young man seemed to gulp, then nod.

"I'll help you, Captain," he promised, his voice low. Killian nodded his thanks and turned back towards the water. "And this place, where we're going… She'll be there?"

"I don't know, Andrew," he admitted woefully, "But it's my only hope. The one place to start this rescue mission. I don't know where else the curse could take her, and it's where they must be, even though her whole family will be out of their time. They must be there."

"And where's that, Captain?" He asked quietly. Killian took a deep breath, straightened, and pulled a map out of his coat. He pressed the rolled parchment into Andrew's hand, then patted his shoulder.

"It's her family's home," he sighed, turning to join Milah for their evening meal, hating that he may very well have to break her heart in time, "They call it the Enchanted Forest."

 **XxXx**

 **A/N: I hope you loves are enjoying this little story so far! It's so much fun exploring these characters in scenes we never got a chance to see on the show… What a gift that we can write these stories and keep these beloved characters going on adventure after adventure, even now that the show has ended. Thank you so much for reading, and please don't hesitate to leave me a hello, whether in a review or PM! 😊**

 **REMEMBER… REVIEWS ARE LOVE! ❤**


	3. Chapter 3: Wander

**Author's Note: Oh, Killian Jones. You are such a joy to write. 😊 It has been a little quiet... Hope to hear from some of you!**

 **Chapter 3: Wander**

 **"Wondering where I am, lost without you…"**

 **XxXx**

Killian's heart was heavy as he ducked out of his quarters, tossing a glance back at a fitfully sleeping Milah. Their evening meal had not been an easy one, full of tension and unanswered questions. He knew his madness upon waking up that morning had startled her, but that was nothing compared to her uneasiness about their sudden change of direction. Never before had they set sail without deciding the way forward together; they had decided long ago that this life was theirs to share. Every moment, every decision.

" _Just drop it, Milah!" he had hissed when she had pushed once more for answers, "I've charted the voyage, and that's all that will be discussed."_

" _How can I drop it, Killian?" she asked, tossing down her turkey leg, a delicacy that meant they must have only just left port, "You wake up spewing some mad speech about my death and two hundred years, now you're sailing the Jolly Roger into mysterious waters without so much as asking me. What happened to deciding everything together?"_

" _I AM THE CAPTAIN!" Killian yelled, pounding his fist on the table, sending his goblet toppling. He immediately regretted the moment of ire as Milah swallowed back tears, using an old rag to mop up his spilt mead._

" _Milah, love, I am… I am so sorry," he had murmured, reaching to place a hand on her wrist. She had shaken her head then, sniffling as she cleaned up his mess._

" _We were so happy, not one night ago," she had whispered as she had set his goblet upright, her hand trembling as she reached for her own and taken a sip, "I don't know what happened this morning, Killian, or what I did to anger you so." She took a deep breath, but she couldn't fool him. Killian knew her every gesture, and he knew his proud Milah was fighting back tears._

" _Love, we were. We are," he had whispered, sure of that statement. The Killian that she had known a night before had been devoted only to her, had no idea that The Nolans or Emma Swan even existed, "I'm just… I'm going through something right now. Can you trust me?"_

" _Can you trust me?" Milah had challenged then, raising her eyebrows as she quickly wiped away a stray tear, "Where are we headed? What strange constellations are guiding us there?" Killian had blanched then, and Milah's face had grown dark._

" _I left one coward already, Killian," she had breathed, apparently having lost her appetite, moving to gather their dishes and goblets, "I refuse to let another hold me back. Be the man I fell in love with and find it in your heart to share with me. Whatever it is, we can take it on together."_

 _She had left him to his own thoughts and worries then, and the tension had remained between them even as they readied for bed. She had not reached for him that night as Killian thought she might, but instead slept with her back to him, rigid with anger and confusion. He had pulled his pants on, his boots, and a loose shirt once she was asleep, then gazed at her as she slumbered._

 _His heart was heavy with guilt as he ran his fingertips down the exposed skin of her back, and even as he worried desperately for Emma, the preciousness of these unexpected moments with Milah was not lost on him. "I'm sorry," he had murmured against her ear, then pressed a light kiss to her shoulder before ducking out of his cabin, grabbing his flask on the way out._

The starlight danced upon the waves as they lashed against the ship, their steady song reminding Killian of all his years at sea. They had been long, lonely years, fueled only by fleeting nights of cheap companionship and his raging desire for revenge. He knew the loss of one woman had extinguished the light in his heart, and meeting another had ignited it. The happiness he had found with Emma and her family in Storybrooke, despite their many adventures and unwanted visitors to the town, had made those centuries of loneliness and anger feel like a distant memory. Yet here he was, lonely again, although he had been reunited with the one he had once considered the love of his life, his soulmate. He knew an earlier version of himself would be furious to know he was squandering this reunion with Milah, that he couldn't even enjoy seeing the humor dance in her eyes again without turning his attention elsewhere.

But Emma was missing. Or he was. Perhaps all of Storybrooke was scattered in the wind, and they were all left to wander in this new (or in his case, old) life in which the curse must have thrown them. And if it truly had been a curse that destroyed everything, it made sense that he was separated from her, not only by realms but centuries' worth of time. He sighed, taking the last sip from his flask before tossing it aside.

"We're near land, aren't we?"

Killian turned, surprised to see that Milah snuck up behind him, standing only a few feet away, barefoot and beautiful on the deck of his ship.

"Ay, I was just musing on that," he fibbed, moving forward to gently help her with the blanket she had wrapped around her shoulders, "But that's not for you to worry about, love. Go back to bed, and I'll-"

"Join me shortly?" she interrupted tearfully, stepping closer to join him at the helm, "That's what you've been saying all day, Killian. And don't tell me it's because you're not feeling well, or that you're just going through something, because we've been there before. And you shared those things with me then."

A tear slipped down Killian's cheek, and he could only reply by slipping his arms around Milah's waist and pulling her into his embrace. For the first time since waking up on the Jolly Roger of old, he held the lost love he had longed for. He buried his face in her dark hair as he hugged her, wondering if she could sense the subtle farewell in his embrace.

"I thought of you every moment, of every day," he breathed into her dark tresses, the fingers of his left hand cradling her head against his shoulder, "You'll always own a piece of my heart, Milah." He knew his words were senseless to the woman in his arms, who had not known a day without Captain Jones since she first stepped on his ship. He huffed when she shoved him away, fear in her sky-blue eyes as if she had heard everything that had changed, everything he had left unspoken.

"I left my family, everything I've ever known, for you!" she reminded him, gathering the blanket tighter around her as she stepped away from him, "I love you, Killian. But do you… do you love me?"

"I love you, MIlah," he cried without hesitation, his words honest and passionate "I have _always_ loved you."

"But something is pulling you away from me," she murmured, the sea breeze dancing through her dark hair as she gazed at him. "I don't know what it is, and I know now that you won't tell me."

Unable to deny it, Killian reached for her again, but she took another step back.

"When we land on shore tomorrow, I will not be getting off with you," she whispered, her words barely audible over the waves, "I'll give you the time you're refusing to ask for, Killian, whether for my good or your own, I'm not sure." Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she turned away from him and headed back to their quarters.

"I know you'll come back to me."

 **XxXx**

"Have you ever been to this place before, Captain?" Andrew asked as they ducked and weaved their way through the Enchanted Forest's undergrowth, followed by a small delegation of their crew members.

"Ay, lad," Killian confirmed, pushing a tree branch aside, "I've done dealings here, and I think it was here that I first saw Emma start to-" he paused, wanting to keep the memory of that first sparkling hint of love in Emma's eyes to himself, "Well. We had some adventures here together, she and I."

"This land is made up of several different Kingdoms, some less welcoming than others!" he called out so the rest could hear him, "Stay close, men, and we'll make camp just this way!"

The group seemed to release a collective sigh of relief when their captain informed them they would soon make camp. They had dropped anchor at daybreak, and Killian had wasted no time in bringing a group onshore. They had seemed disappointed to realize there was no port town to welcome them, no tavern with ale and welcoming wenches to give them their fill after time at sea. Still, trusting their Captain, they continued, sure that treasure and riches would soon be in their grasp.

For his part, Killian wasn't sure what he was looking for. A sign yes, or a clue, anything that would lead him to his Emma and her family. He couldn't very well head to the family's castle, as there was no one there who could help him. He was generations away from the people he had known and come to love in Storybrooke, but he refused to believe he couldn't find some way to get to his people. If loving the product of true love had taught him one thing, it was that there was always, always hope.

Thinking of the amount of time that separated him from the people he loved made him fearful, because he wasn't exactly sure what the curse had done. Had it brought him back in time, like he had originally thought? If so, more things had been changed than he cared to acknowledge, and he was afraid what that could mean for Storybrooke. Or was it something else, like a dream? A kind of curse he had never encountered before?

"Ay. Well, yes. This will do," The captain called out with fake cheer, shaking himself out of his reverie, "Bunk down here for the night, mates, and we'll continue at dawn." He ignored their glances and whispered questions as he leaned against a tree, resting his own eyes. He feigned sleep as he listened to them whisper, then finally settle in a sleepy state. It wasn't until he was sure the last man had dozed that he stood, wanting to search and think in peace. He stiffened when a twig cracked beneath his boot, but when he was met with nothing but a rousing snore, he continued through the woods.

 _"I do believe you're straying, Dearie."_

A familiar voice cackled, cracking through the quiet night. Killian halted, reaching for his cutlass.

"Show yourself, Dark One!" he called out into the night, praying for his eyes to adjust to the darkness now that he had stepped out of the fire's glow.

"Put that thing away, Captain," Rumplestiltskin smiled as he stepped into Killian's line of vision, "Tugging at your sword does not do for me what it does to my wife." Killian sneered at the imp's lewdness but sheathed his weapon nonetheless.

"Did you come back for my life?" he hissed, standing strong and proud in front of the monster he had hunted for so long.

"I've no idea what you're talking about," Rumple giggled wickedly, taking a step towards the pirate captain.

"Now that you've lost your audience, you bloody viper..." Killian hisses, frustrated.

"…Nope, doesn't ring a bell."

"We met again just last month!"

"Oh! Well, _we_ did," Rumplestiltskin pointed at himself before waving a hand in the general direction of the bay, then pointed at the man in front of him, "But, you see, we didn't." He giggled again, sending a shiver down Killian's spine.

"How do you know that?" He asked, weary of the leering grin on Rumple's face.

"Ah, impressed by Milah's former coward, aren't you?" The Dark One teased, leaning casually against a tree, "I know a lot about you, dearie. More than I did, even just a fortnight ago."

"Yes, and how's that?" Killian asked, his hand twitching once more towards his cutlass.

"Nuh uh uh, Captain!" Rumplestiltskin wagged a finger in his direction, then continued, "An ancient magic, dark magic. Magic even _I_ didn't realize could exist until just recently. Nimue's gift, let's call it."

"Who, or what, is a Nimue?" Killian's eyes narrowed, always suspicious of the little monster's tricks.

"Why, she's me, dearie!" The answer came gleefully as the Dark One clapped his scaly hands together, then pointed one long finger in the pirate's direction, "And she _was_ you."

"I'm tired of these bloody riddles!" Killian yelled, angry that he had wasted precious time on this torment, "What do you know of me?! Of my journey here?"

"Now, now, Captain, why would I play my hand so quick?" Fed up, the Captain turned his back on the crocodile, intent on continuing his search, but another monstrous giggle followed behind him.

"Suit yourself, dearie! Good luck finding your _Emma_ …"

A shocked Killian spun around, only to see the gleeful imp send a little wave his way before disappearing in a cloud of dark magic. A deep, tormented bellow echoed from his chest as he rushed towards the smoke, but the Dark One was already gone. He stopped himself from falling by leaning against the same tree that had supported Rumplesiltskin a moment ago, frustrated tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

"Emma," he whispered into the night, the bark scratching his cheek as he cried for her, "Where are you?"

As if to answer, a fire seemed to suddenly illuminate a little way ahead of him in the woods, the flames just bright enough to beckon him forward. Aware that it may just be Rumplestiltskin playing one of his twisted games or perhaps a hostile traveler, Killian crept forward, moving as silently as he could through the trees and undergrowth. He was able to hear the light lilt of voices as he moved closer, realizing at once that there must be several people huddled around the fire. He held on to a branch to steady himself as he moved closer but froze when he recognized one of the voices.

"It's ridiculous!" Regina scowled, indignant, "No one in this damn place recognizes either of us!"

"They wouldn't, Regina," Killian pushed through the woods towards the voices, truly feeling happiness for the first time in days when he heard Mary Margaret's voice, "Didn't you hear that woman when you asked if she recognized two of her queens? She said the only queen she recognized as hers was Queen Beth… King Byron's wife."

" _And_?"

" _And_ that must mean we're not in some outlying kingdom like we thought earlier. We're in our own."

"Snow, how can you be sure?" David's voice startled Killian. It was weak, rough, full of some unknown emotion… could it be worry? Sorrow?

"Because Byron and Beth are my ancestors." Mary Margaret sighed, clearly sure, " We're home, David. We're in our kingdom… But two hundred years in the past."

With a low huff, Killian managed to trip into the small clearing where the party huddled together, falling into a heap just outside the fire's glow. He pushed himself to his feet as they all gasped, someone muttering 'Hook!' as he straightened. He quickly scanned the group for Emma's green eyes, but realized almost immediately that although David, Snow, and Regina were joined by Henry and Robin Hood, she wasn't there.

"You," David breathed, his light eyes bloodshot as he glared at the captain in front of him. Killian stepped forward as David stood, but was stopped when Prince Charming himself drew back his fist and swung with all his might. The damaging blow landed against Killian's jaw and sent him falling to the leaf-strewn ground, Mary Margaret screaming as he narrowly missed the fire.

Wincing, he barely had time to register an enraged David kneeling on top of him, cocking his fist to throw another punch, when everything went black.

 **XxXx**

 **A/N: I won't leave you all hanging too long, I promise! If I kept writing all that I wanted to, this chapter would have been insanely long… So, I thought it best to break It into two parts. I'm already almost done with part 2, so it should be up by this weekend! As always, I hope you all are enjoying reading as much as I'm enjoying writing! 😊**

 **P.S. Daddy!Charming is my favorite.**

 **Please don't hesitate to leave a review! Reviews are like oxygen for us fic writers… We need them to live. ❤ 😉**


	4. Chapter 4: Broken

**Author's Note: Hello, hello! I was so excited to hear from you guys, and I'm so ecstatic to see follows and favorites as well! I wish I could answer all of your questions, but I've left many plot points a mystery on purpose. I set out to write this similarly to the show (although I don't possess anything near that level of genius and creativity!), and want to let the story unravel and to reveal more and more as we go on. This includes the timeline, character placement, etc. No use in writing the story if I reveal everything at once! So, plot-holes may not be plot-holes. 😉 A little mystery can be exhilarating, no? One question I CAN definitively answer? Killian DOES truly love her. They ARE true love, just as in canon. That never has to be a doubt in any of my stories, promise!**

 **I did have one reviewer (I see you and love ya!) who started to guess the lyrics at the beginning of each chapter. I LOVE that, and I meant to cite the lyrics at the end of each chapter, but completely forgot. So, going forward, at the beginning of each chapter, I will name the song and artist for the PREVIOUS chapter's lyrics. I hope you keep guessing! I listed the songs/artists for the first three chapters in today's endnote.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **XxXx**

 **Chapter 4:**

 **"When you look at me, you're not shouting anymore; You're silently broken... "**

"David, no!" Mary Margaret screamed, clawing at his back as she struggled to pull him away from Killian, "It might not be him! He doesn't know us!"

"He killed our daughter!" David bellowed, turning on Mary Margaret in a manner such as the group had never seen, "Get off of me!" He landed another punch to Killian's cheek as Snow sobbed, and Henry hid face against his mother's shoulder.

"DAVID!"

"He killed her!" David repeated, pulling his fist back again before Robin Hood grabbed him in a light chokehold, dragging him away from the unconscious pirate.

"Calm down, mate. Look at your Mrs… Listen to her!" Robin urged, refusing to loosen his hold until he felt David slump. Regina stepped over to Killian as Mary Margaret hurried to her husband, her own tears mingling with his as she kissed his cheeks, desperate to console him.

"He probably doesn't know who we are," she whispered tearfully, her lips brushing against his eyelids, "He doesn't know."

"You did a number on him, either way," Regina sighed as she ran her hand over Killian's face to heal the cuts and bruises, taking a quick step back when he groaned.

"Bloody hell," the captain breathed as rubbed his hand along his jaw, squinting as he pushed himself into a sitting position. His head ached as he struggled to focus on the people in front of him, scrambling to his feet when he recalled his entrance just moments before.

"Where's Emma?" he demanded woefully, bracing himself when David yelled out, lunging for him again. Mary Margaret barely had time to scream 'No!' before her husband was frozen, his hands outstretched for Killian.

"Regina!" he cried tearfully, "Let me go!"

"You know who we are?" Regina asked Hook quickly, ignoring David as she kept him in place.

"Of course, I-" Killian threw a worried glance at David, then turned his attention back to the queen, "Regina, please. Where is she?"

"No!" David yelled, sounding strangled and heartbroken, "You DON'T get to ask about her!" He took a deep breath, crying. "You don't get to ask about her."

"Let him go, Regina," Mary Margaret whispered as she wrapped her arms around her husband's middle, "You can let him go." Obliging, Regina took a step back, watching the heartbroken couple for a moment before turning back to Killian.

"Hook, if you know us-" she began.

"Yeah, you keep asking that, like I wouldn't! I bloody well wouldn't have been brought back with the curse like everyone else, would I, then?" His voice rose with each word, becoming more and more panicked as he listened to Emma's tearful parents.

"Curse?" Regina shook her head, confused, "You don't remember everything else? Like what happened to Emma… What happened to you?"

"Everything else? Last I remember, we were all at Granny's, celebrating." He licked his lips nervously as Mary Margaret pressed her face against David's neck. "Why? What happened to us?" He turned his gaze towards Henry, only then registering the Lad's heartbroken, tear-soaked face.

"Where's Emma?" he asked once more, his panic rising. Although the answer was right there, written on the five faces gazing back at him, he couldn't accept it. He wouldn't.

"She's not here," Snow White confirmed, turning her tear-streaked face towards him, "She's gone, Hook. Emma is gone."

 **XxXx**

Killian's lungs were screaming as he tore through the woods, ignoring the thistles and branches that scratched and tugged at the exposed skin of his face and hands, desperate to get away. Away from them, away from the realization that he would never see Emma's beautiful face again, away from the horrifying fact that David, at the very least, seemed to blame him for her end.

He had felt pain before, when he had watched as Milah was stripped away from him. He had harbored an all-consuming grief and anger in his heart for so long that he had forgotten how it had felt to live without it. It had become as much a part of him as his swagger or hook… A reality that he had considered his existence. He had spent two hundred lonely years feeding that grief with thoughts of revenge and destruction… He had wanted the crocodile to hurt as much as he had and could hardly see the world for the gift it could be, until he met Emma. Even beyond that, he had suffered enough to fill several life times. His father's abandonment. Liam's death. Becoming his own father's murderer.

No, Killian Jones was no stranger to pain.

But this was something altogether different. This wasn't simply a grief-stricken or broken heart. This wasn't the kind of hurt that you felt, but eventually overcame. He couldn't even acknowledge the pain in his legs as he ran, or the sting of the scratching thistles as he barreled through the woods. How could he, when it felt as if his soul, his very _being_ was being shredded?

" _She's gone, Hook. Emma is gone."_

A raised tree root caught his boot then, sending him toppling once more to the mossy ground. He crumpled as he let the pain of it wash over him, his fingers clawing at the dirt as he fought to grasp on to anything that felt real.

What had gone wrong? It felt like mere moments ago that Emma was snuggled against his side as they teased her parents for their villainous turn in that alternate reality. What had happened between that blissful moment and this agony? He groaned when he heard Regina, then Robin call out his name, pushing himself to his feet when he recognized Emma's parents voices as well. He couldn't face them again, not when they clearly felt like he was to blame for their daughter's death. He couldn't stand sharing his own suffocating grief with them, knowing David felt like that wasn't his right.

"Killian!" they called out, as he pushed forward, "Hook!"

 _ **"Why do they keep calling you that?"**_

Killian halted when the Dark One appeared in front of him, sneering through his tears.

"You! Be gone from here!" he cried, shoving past the crocodile, "I want nothing more to do with you. With anyone!"

"Anyone, Captain?" Rumple asked with sinister glee, "Not even your swan princess?"

"Why must you torment me?!" Killian screamed, "She's dead! She's left me! LEAVE ME BE!" He pushed past the crocodile, eager to put distance between them.

"Is that so?" When Killian ignored the Dark One's taunts, Rumplestiltskin snapped his fingers and a large cage-like structure obstructed the pirate's path. Squinting, Killian stepped closer, peering into the cage. The occupant was clearly human and very obviously injured; He could see the blood stains staining the cage floor. As the moonlight peeked through the clouds, he caught a clear glimpse of blonde hair, matted and curled against rich, red leather.

"You were saying, _dearie_?"

 **XxXx**

"EMMA!" Killian yelled when he recognized the body in the cage, charging at the metal contraption, "EMMA!"

"She can't hear you, Dearie," Rumpelstiltskin shook his head as if the pirate were being ridiculous, "I thought you said she was dead?"

"Emma!" Killian called out again as he reached through the bars, swearing when he was unable to touch her. His breath caught when he saw her chest rise, shallow but sure, "She's alive! I can help her! You devil, let me go to her!"

"Hmm…" Rumple hummed as he tapped his scaled chin, pretending to think, "No. No, I don't think so. I think I like having something you want."

"Why? What do you want from me?" Killian cried, unashamed of the desperate tear clinging to his cheek, "In this time, Crocodile, what could you possibly get from torturing me?"

"Torturing you?!" The evil playfulness disappeared as he rushed Killian, so close that the pirate could feel the putrid, hot breath on his skin, "Torture YOU? You ripped my family apart, Captain. Do you know how it feels, to watch your child yearn for their mother? Helpless to take away their heartbreak. You did that! You hurt us! You broke us." Stepping back, he straightened his vest. "But now, I have something that will break you. "

Crying, Killian turned his gaze back to Emma, broken and bleeding in the cage, her blood vibrant red against the more muted tones of her leather jacket.

"Oh, I don't mean her," Rumplestiltskin pointed at Emma, "Well, not just her. It's what she remembers, and you don't. Not yet." He tapped the cage three times, and Emma moaned, her head rolling to the side.

"Emma," Killian breathed, dropping to his knees and shuffling around the cage, dropping his face closer to hers, "Emma, I'm here. Open your eyes, love, and look at me. Please."

"Don't think yours is a face she wants to see, dearie," The Dark One sighed with feigned pity.

"She does, she loves me," Killian argued breathlessly.

"Has she told you that?"

"No, but I know it! I feel it. I know Emma's fears and hesitation about saying the words, but I know she feels them."

"Hmm," Rumplestiltskin mused, "And you think she believes you feel the same?"

"What?" Killian glanced up at the crocodile, confused, "She knows I love her." He turned his attention back to Emma's pained face, her eyelids fluttering, "She knows I love her with all that I am… all that she helped me to be."

"How could she possibly know that? You didn't choose her, Captain," Rumplestiltskin shrugged, feigning confusion.

"What the devil are you talking about?!" Killian cried, "I chose Emma. I'll always choose Emma!"

"Ah, so my visions were right, you don't remember…Oh, this will be fun," Rumplestiltskin laughed, leaning towards the cage. "Wake up, dearie." He snapped his fingers, and Emma's eyes flew open on cue. She blinked, then slowly raised her pained eyes to meet Killian's.

And in that moment, Killian knew why the crocodile was nearly dancing with glee, positive he had hurt the Captain he blamed for the demise of his family.

Although Emma's eyes flickered with recognition, there was no joy to see him there. No happiness, or even relief.

In her eyes swam a deep sadness that hinted at loneliness, doubt, and fear.

An ancient sorrow that spoke of betrayal.

And it was then, in that moment their eyes locked, that Killian remembered.

 _He remembered the determined look in Emma's eyes when she decided to save Regina from the darkness, just before she was ripped away from him after whispering 'I love you.'_

 _Finding Emma and journeying to Camelot with their family and friends, their love only blossoming as she fought the darkness. The light in her eyes never wavered as he had feared… She had remained his Emma, a symbol of light magic and hope. They had shared their dreams and started to plan for a happy future, the kind of future that Hook had long ago considered impossible._

 _He remembered the burning pain from Excalibur's cut, and how desperate he had been to soothe Emma's sorrow as they had said their goodbyes. He remembered begging her to let him go, to let him die as one of the heroes… But he had awoken a Dark One, the hatred already seething through his veins._

 _How long had it taken him to plunge headfirst into the darkness, although Emma had remained strong in her battle to remain light and good? A few moments? Seconds? Just long enough to tell the dark entity that goaded him that he would not take the heart of the one he loved most, that he would not kill Emma?_

 _He remembered that he had crushed Merlin's heart with zero regards for the ancient life he had ended, and he had cared not what it had meant for his love._

Killian couldn't look away from Emma as the brutal memories washed over him, unable to stop the tears from trickling down his cheeks.

 _And once his own darkness and power had been unveiled to him in Storybrooke, he had latched onto the old hatred and hunger for revenge that had plagued him for so long. How could he have let her go so fast, only to blindly chase that revenge like the Captain Hook of old? Despite his own feelings of betrayal due to her tethering him to Excalibur despite his pleas, how could he have so cruelly lashed out at her the way he did? How could he have allowed her entire family to be marked for the underworld?_

" _You're here because you still have feelings for me," she had whispered during one of their last encounters, seemingly so sure of that statement. Had that been the last time she considered his feelings, his love, to be true? The last time she had looked at him with hope before he allowed the darkness to shape his words to her?_

" _Oh Swan, of course I still have feelings for you… Anger. Hatred. Disappointment."_

"… _I now see you for what you really are. An anchor.'_

" _You were nothing more but a pretty, blonde distraction. But guess what, Swan. I am a free man now, and you will never hold me back from getting what I want again."_

"… _That's why you'll always be an orphan."_

 _No hint of the connection he had for her, no word of the love he knew to be rare and true. He had betrayed her again and again, and even when a moment came, and Killian Jones was able to peek through the darkness and considered challenging Nimue… He had given in again._

 _The first Dark One had given him an out, a way to take back one deed done by any previous Dark One. He could have chosen so many that would have saved Emma and her family, even if it had meant sacrificing himself. He could have even undone Emma's act of tethering him to Excalibur… That would have saved Merlin, the people he loved, everyone but himself. That's what Emma's beloved Killian Jones would have done, if he had been strong enough to fight the darkness as she had. But, in the end, he had been weak._

 _The worst part? The crocodile was right.  
In the end, when it mattered most… He had not chosen her._

As if she knew he had come to the same realization she had, Emma's eyes snapped shut, her back arching as fresh blood seeped through her shirt.

"No," Killian cried, still struggling to reach her through the bars of her cage, "EMMA!"

"A pity, isn't it?" Rumplestiltskin shook his head, eyeing the heartbreaking couple in front of him, "You were the one person she trusted not to abandon her, and then… Oops! You did."

Killian shook his head, a sob wracking through him as he shook the bars. Their friends' desperate calls grew closer as he cried, but he refused to look away from her to even yell for their attention.

"You could have made so many choices in that moment, Dearie. Some better than others, yes, but you made the only one that would prove that she means nothing to you."

"That wasn't me!" Killian bellowed, panic gripping his heart as Emma gasped for air, "Emma, please. Please look at me, love! I will always choose you. I won't let the darkness win. I promise."

"Um," Rumple rolled his eyes, "You already did." As the others joined them in the small clearing, he snapped his fingers once more, and the cage disappeared, taking the dying Emma and Rumplestiltskin with it.

"EMMA!" David and Mary Margaret cried out in unison as Henry called for his mother, shocked by what they had seen.

"No!" Killian screamed as he scrambled to his feet, spinning as his eyes frantically searched the surrounding forest for any sign of the Dark One, "Bring her back to me!"

 **XxXx**

 **A/N: Ouch. Right? All magic comes with a price! (But we're heading somewhere good, I promise. Only happy endings here. The middle can just be a little tough.) I can't thank you guys enough for reading and following my little story. ❤**

 **As promised, the songs and artists for chapters 1-3.**

 **1\. "There's a side to you that I never knew, never knew." Set Fire to the Rain, Adele.**

 **2\. "Without you I feel torn, like a sail in a storm." Sad Song, We the Kings.**

 **3\. "Wondering where I am, lost without you…" Faithfully, Journey.**


	5. Chapter 5: Faint Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

 **The lyrics used for the previous chapter were from 'Forgive me,' as performed by Evanescence. 😊**

 **Chapter 5: Faint Forgiveness**

 **"Your hope dangling by a string, I'll share in your suffering..."**

 _As soon as Hook disappeared, chaos descended on the water's bank, everyone instinctively huddling around Henry as the dark ones surrounded them. They screamed each other's names, panicked as they looked into the eyes of their loved ones. In their final moments, they scrambled to memorize each other, not knowing what waited for them on the other side._

" _Henry, don't let go of my hand," Regina cried as Robin's arm moved around her waist, the group taking a collective step back towards the water and the vessel waiting to take them to the underworld. Mary Margaret and Charming both kept one hand on Henry as they clung to each other. The air surrounding them seemed to buzz with the darkness, becoming so overwhelming that they ducked their heads, crying out as it seemed to suffocate them._

 _Snuffing out the light._

 _Henry cried out as it pressed against them, and the adults drew in closer, desperate to protect him._

 _The darkness swirled around them. Taunting them. Drowning them._

 _And then it was gone. The water calmed, the buzzing silenced. As the fog cleared, twinkling stars could even be seen in the velvet night sky._

 _It was… peaceful._

" _Dad…?"_

 _Emma's broken, anguished whisper spoiled that illusion as her parents spun, their eyes searching for her in the moonlight. Finally, Mary Margaret screamed when she caught sight of her daughter, crumpled on the ground before them._

" _NO!" David bellowed as he sprinted to her side, falling to his knees as he gently turned her over, the blood draining from his face when he realized she had been run through by Excalibur._

" _Emma," her mother cried as she joined them, "Baby, what did you do?" She brushed a lock of golden blonde hair from Emma's face as her father cradled her in his arms. Gone was the cool exterior of the dark one; she was all warmth and light again, soft and beautiful._

" _I-I'm sorry," Emma cried, her voice wrenched by pain, "I had to. I couldn't…"_

" _Shh… It's okay, Emma." Mary Margaret breathed, "We know." Emma nodded, raising her eyes, just a few shades greener than her father's blue._

" _Henry?" She whispered, ignoring her parents as they each pressed a hand to her stomach, eager to stifle the blood that was beginning to soak her shirt around Excalibur's blade, "Henry?"_

" _I'm here, Mom…"  
_

 _His voice was soft and full of tears as he joined his family on the ground, reaching for his mother's hand._

" _There you are, kid," Emma smiled relief, "I love you, Henry."_

" _I love you, too… But Mom, you're going to be okay. I know you're going to be okay."_

" _You've always had so much faith in me," Emma's eyes flutter closed as she grimaced, the pain overwhelming her for a moment, "I had to save you, Henry. I want… You have to remember that. Please don't be sad, not for too long."_

" _Mom, stop talking like this… Please," Henry begged._

" _Regina," David cried, desparate tears clinging to his cheeks as his fingers fumbled around the blade, unable to stop the bleeding, "Regina, you have to save her."_

" _David…"_

" _DO IT!"_

" _David, I can't," Regina whispered, kneeling next to the heartbroken parents, their daughter cradled between them. She slipped her arm around Henry's shoulders, tears of her own shining in her dark eyes. Mary Margaret's hopeful face crumbled as she stroked her daughter's cheek, remembering what had so nearly killed Hook in Camelot._

 ** _Not even Regina could heal a wound wielded by Excalibur._**

" _No!" David sobbed as his wife pressed sweet kisses to their daughter's forehead, "It wasn't supposed to be this way… Snow, it's not supposed to be this way."_

" _Dad," Emma whispered, her strength waning, "Look at me."_

 _She took a deep breath as light blue eyes met green, comforted by her mother's whispered 'I love yous.'_

" _I found you guys," she managed as she gazed up at him, her gaze shifting to seek her mother, "I found you, and I didn't even know I was looking. I loved you, even when I was…" She paused, breathing through the pain. Each breath was more difficult than the last, and she knew that it was only the sword protruding from her middle that was keeping her alive._

" _Even when I was little and wanted to hate you. I loved you." Her eyes fluttered closed, but she continued, "I Should have let Hook go… I did this to him, to us. I'm so sorry." She opened her eyes again as a sob ripped from her chest._

" _You found us, and you saved us," Mary Margaret whispered, leaning her forehead against hers, "We love you so much, Emma. More than you'll ever know."_

" _I don't know how to say goodbye," David breathed, the finality in his wife's words to their daughter breaking him, "Not like this, not for good." His eyes swept over his family, over his wife and grandson weeping for the young woman in his arms._

" _I knew I got that from you," Emma smiled, her eyes beginning to glaze over as her gaze met his, "Don't say goodbye, Dad. Just... just hold on to me, okay?"  
_

 _He pressed his lips to her forehead, squeezing his eyes shut as fresh tears trickled down his cheeks. They shouldn't have to be doing this, not again... He shouldn't have to be letting go of his baby for the second time in their lives._

" _I love you, Emma," he whispered, "You're…You're my baby girl."_

 _A single tear traced down Emma's cheek as she nodded, and he knew in that moment that she was telling them all one more time that she loved them, too. He looked up at Mary Margaret, and she nodded once as they both reached for Excalibur._

" _No, you can't!" Henry sobbed as he pulled Emma's hand he was holding to his chest, "Mom, you can't go like this!"_

" _I love you, Henry," Emma cried with him, squeezing his hand, "You found me, you brought me to our family." She coughed, struggling to take a ragged breath. Unable to say more, she just gazed at her son, her body shaking as it struggled to cling to life._

 _Together, her parents pulled the sword from their body, watching as it crumbled to dust in their hands. They pressed those same hands to her stomach in a final effort to stop the blood, but it was useless as it flowed hot beneath their fingertips. As her lids closed over her beautiful, bright eyes once more, her body fell limp in their arms._

 _She was gone._

 _Standing to let the family grieve together, Regina fell into Robin's arms, finally releasing a broken sob of her own as she buried her face against his shoulder. The loss of her friend tore through her, and she felt powerless that she couldn't save her, that she couldn't save their shared, beloved son from this heartbreak. So lost they were in their grief, that they almost didn't feel the shift in the wind, the slight hum that suddenly surrounded them on the water's edge. She pulled back slightly, horrified to see Mr. Gold standing several yards away from the mournful scene, a familiar, twisted dagger in his hand._

 _The same dagger that was supposed to have crumbled into nothingness with Excalibur._

" _You!" She started towards the traitorous coward but was blown back by powerful magic. Furious, she gently brushed Robin off as he helped her up, the crying family behind them still oblivious to Gold's betrayal._

" _I'm very sorry, dearie, but me, and my interests, come first." His dark magic continued to whirl around them as he gestured towards Henry. "Now, I'll be taking my grandson, and taking my dagger, and going on my way."_

" _What about us?" Regina seethed, recognizing the magic that was beginning to seep into her being, "You're sending us somewhere!"_

" _Oh, right you are, Regina," he said, his voice dangerously quiet, careful not to draw attention to himself, "I'll change young Henry's memories, and Belle, and the town, will know that I stopped the dastardly Captain Hook and the other Dark Ones, but not before they left a few casualties in their wake."_

" _You can't do this!"_

 _The magic strengthened, and the portal seemed to envelop them as the others finally looked up, gasping when the realized what Gold was holding._

" _I possess the power of ALL dark ones, dearie. I think you'll find that I can." He reached for her son again. "Come, H-"_

" _NO!" Regina screamed, her own magic clashing with his as she threw her hands out, determined to stop him from separating her son from the only mother he had left. The combined force sent them flying into the void, and with a final flash of light, the scene in front of them disappeared into nothingness._

 ** _XxXx_**

"And then we woke up here," Regina shrugged as they finished filling Killian in on what had happened once he had disappeared in Storybrooke, "All in the same position we had been in when we were transported."

"But Emma's body was gone," Mary Margaret added, clearly pained, "We took that as proof that there would be no bringing her back, that her death in our realm couldn't be reversed. She was gone. How did Rumpelstiltskin even get to get her? We watched her…we watched her…"

"Die," David finished for her, gazing off into the woods, "She died, right in my arms."

"And you're sure she was alive, Hook?" Regina asked, rounding on the pirate, "I mean, we saw her body in the cage, but you're sure-"

"Yes, I'm bloody sure. She looked right at me! She was bleeding, she needed my help, and the crocodile took her before I could get to her. Emma-"

"Don't say her name." David murmured, his voice deadly serious. "Don't say her name again, Pirate. You put her there."

"David-"

"No, he's right," Killian whispered tearfully, "Look. I know you blame me, and rightfully so, mate, but I want to save her just as much as you do. Fighting isn't going to accomplish that." David glared at him, seething, then took a seat by the fire.

"I want to know why Gold sent us here, in this time," Regina threw up her hands, clearly choosing to ignore the tense interlude that had just occurred between David and Hook, "I can't make sense of it!"

Killian blanched, realizing that they hadn't made the connection between their presence in the past and the undoing of one Dark One deed.

"I think I have an idea of why, love," Killian breathed, loathe to admit what had sent him back in time with his memories in tact, "I think he was piggybacking on another being's magic."

"Does this have to do with how you remember us?" Robin asked, speaking up for the first time since they had seen Rumple disappear with Emma; he and Henry had remained silent.

"Aye," Killian nodded, rubbing his fingertips along his jaw. "It wasn't the crocodile that sent me back… Now that I have my memories back, I… I know it's my own fault that I've been sent back to my past. I woke up as myself, on my ship, just as I had two hundred years ago. Only, I remembered. I remembered you all, I remembered my search for revenge, Storybrooke…" He paused, glancing at David. "And I remembered my Emma."

"…You undid one deed done by one Dark One," Mary Margaret whispered, glancing at his newly-restored left hand as if seeing it for the first time, "You took back your hand."

Killian didn't confirm or deny her guess, ashamed to tell Emma's parents that the desire to see his first love had sent his darkened soul down this path. It was a choice he never would have made himself, but he doubted he could convince her angrily grieving father of that. He refused to look at Regina, who huffed as he rubbed his two hands together.

She knew his story. He was sure she had guessed the real deed he had undone.

He tensed when David pushed himself to his feet, towering over them for a moment.

"You chose your hand," he stated simply, his eyes full of anger and grief, "You could have saved her with one thought, one decision.

"You could have saved our daughter, the woman you call 'your' Emma, but you didn't."

 **XxXx**

Hook leaned against the trunk of a wizened tree as he gazed at the cold ground, not really seeing the leaves and moss in front of him. All he could imagine was the scene they had described to him just a few hours before; His brave Emma sacrificing herself to save them all when he had not. He glanced away when someone sat next to him on the ground, hoping they would take his silence as a hint to leave.

"We'll find her again," Mary Margaret murmured after a few moments of hesitation, "You know that's what our family does, Killian. We find each other." She wiped a tear from her cheek, clearly taking it upon herself to be the strong one in the family. David hadn't spoken another word to any of them except for Henry, choosing to remain wrapped up in his own anger and worry.

"I'm sorry," Killian whispered, forcing himself to acknowledge the newfound memories of what the darkness had made him do, "I never… I know I don't…" He closed himself, hanging his head. "I don't deserve to be here, sitting with you all, while Emma's out there…"

 _Dying._

There was no way he could say the word aloud, terrified that it would somehow sever her already tenuous thread to life.

"Hook, Emma loved you. Loves you. She's still here, we know that now," She touched his shoulder, then gave it a gentle squeeze, "She loves you, and I trust her to choose for herself. She chose you."

 _Chose._ Killian hung his head as the intensity of that word washed over him, and he felt another stab of guilt for the actions he had taken while filled with the darkness. Never, from the time he had admitted his feelings for Swan to himself and all in Neverland, would he doubt that he would always choose Emma above all else. He believed Emma had come to feel that way as well, trusting him to cherish her heart and to fight for her.

Did she know? Did she know which Dark One's act he had chosen to declare null and void rather than the one that would save her family? Did she know that, wrapped up in the darkness, Hook had chosen to return to his life with Milah, before vengeance had turned his passionate heart to stone? How could he have done that to himself, to her? THEM?

"I forgive you, you know," Mary Margaret said quietly as if she could read his thoughts, "From the beginning, I knew that if you were alive somewhere, I would forgive you. It's what Emma would have done." She paused, a slight smile touching her eyes as she remembered her daughter was alive, for the time being, "It's what she will do."

"As much as I appreciate your forgiveness, I don't deserve it," Killian shook his head, swiping his fingers through his hair nervously, "And you didn't see her face when she saw me. I-I broke her." He wiped desperately at the tears slipping down his cheeks as his voice cracked.

"Do you really think she's that fragile?"

"I truly think she's that vulnerable," he clarified tearfully, "She's a tough lass, our Emma. Strong and incredibly brave, it's true, but there's a fragility there that comes from years of feeling unloved and alone. I know it because I've seen it. Many times in the eyes of the lost boys… and even felt it meself."

"She wasn't alone this time."

"Perhaps not. She had her family, but she should have had me as well. She opened herself up to me in a way that can only be described as a gift. She told me how she couldn't lose me, how she was terrified of that possibility. But she took me at my word and despite that fear, allowed herself to admit what was between us. It's a love like I've never known before, this gift. And I squandered it. She looked at me with such an intense look of heartbreak and…and betrayal. I broke her heart, Mary Margaret, when I swore I wouldn't."

An uneasy silence settled between them then, as Hook pushed the heel of his boot back and forth in the dirt. He could sense that Mary Margaret had more to say, but guessed she didn't know quite how to say them when she remained quiet.

"Didn't she break yours, too?" She whispered, her voice halting as if she felt guilty for saying anything against her daughter. "She told us you begged her to let you go, that you knew you couldn't handle being plunged into the darkness. I know she blames herself for hurting you."

"No. Stop," Killian held up his left hand, still brandishing it with care as if it were a hook, "Emma is not to blame for the mess I made. She only gave into the darkness that day out of love, to save me and what we shared. I didn't want her to do it, but I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same if I knew I was losing her. She trusted me, not only to love her and stay by her side, but she trusted me to be just as strong as she. I should have been... I failed her."

"You're being strong for her now."

"Am I? A blubbering mess in the woods, crying to her mother. Yes. I'm an absolute knight in shining armor."

"Emma doesn't want a knight in shining armor," Mary Margaret sighed, taking his hand and giving it an almost maternal squeeze, "She wants you. And if she hasn't already, she will forgive you, just as I have."

"And David?"

Mary Margaret let go of his hand with a quiet sigh, glancing over her shoulder at her husband. He sat near the fire, ignoring the other three huddled together on the other side of it. His blue eyes seemed far away, lost even, as he gazed at the flames, the knowledge that his daughter was still alive bringing no relief to his grief-stricken face. She glanced down, then turned back to Killian, a small, sad smile on her lips.

"Did Emma ever sit down and tell you the beginning of her story?"

"Aye. Evil Queen hates her parents, The Dark One prophesies her existence as the savior, Curse, sent here to break it."

"There's more, you know. I was supposed to be there with her, still carrying her. But I gave birth just as the curse came rolling over the mountains. David wanted to keep her with us, so we could have a chance at being together."

She paused, reminiscing on a long ago memory that must have felt much more recent.

"I knew her destiny was already written; she was the savior. No matter how badly I wanted her to stay with me, how desperately I wanted to raise _my_ daughter, I could not steal her fate. I would not keep her from becoming the hero she was meant to be and from saving us all. So, David took her in one hand, held a sword in the other… And he got her to that wardrobe. He got her to the land without magic, away from the curse. When I found him, he had been run through with a black knight's sword; he nearly died on his mission."

"I never heard that part," Hook admitted, glancing down at his hands.

"He was her greatest protector from the very beginning," Mary Margaret smiled with a little shrug, "And I think Emma sensed that, also from the very beginning. She and I are so close, but I think – no, I know- she bonded with her father first… I think she instinctively knew, maybe from that first adventure they had together when she was a newborn, how much he loved her. That he would die to protect her. How much his soul, and mine, missed her even though we didn't remember her." She glanced back at her husband again, and Hook snuck a peek at David as well. The man seemed frozen in his pain, refusing to look away from the flames.

"He struggled while we were back in the Enchanted Forest after Pan's curse, even though he remained so strong in front of everyone else. He felt as if he had let Emma down yet again, leaving her and Henry behind. He had nightmares that stemmed from feeling like he had failed her as a baby because she was not with us, and he felt like he had failed her again when he couldn't protect her from separating once more. I even think there are times that he feels guilty that Neal will have a life with us when she had to grow up alone."

She paused, and Hook heard her unspoken fear.

 _If they even made it back to their son._

"Be patient with David," she finished softly, "He'll come around. He's just so wrapped up in his worry and grief that he can't see a path to forgiveness yet, but he will."

 **XxXx**

 _Emma's head was spinning as she forced herself to open her eyes, the pain from the wound in her stomach once again ripping through her. A tear slipped down her cheek when she realized she was still held captive, her journey to the afterlife interrupted by Rumpelstiltskin himself. She had felt at peace as the pain had disappeared, her life drifting away as she passed in her father's arms, her mother whispering words of love._

 _Then she had been woken up here, trapped and dying still._

" _Awake again, dearie?" Rumple asked, tapping on her cage, "You're bleeding on my stuff."_

 _She couldn't speak, silenced by the damage wrought by her mortal wound and the death she had thought she experienced. But her glare spoke volumes, practically burning into the imp before her. The 'crocodile,' as Hook so aptly referred to him._

 _Hook._

 _Killian._

 _She had seen him, she remembered then. Had seen him reaching for her with two hands, begging her to look at him. His voice had been desperate, heartbroken, full of love… It had truly been her captain, and not the Dark One who had so recently taunted her._

 _Her Killian, all protectiveness and sweet words, the man who loved her… He was out there, and he was looking for her, despite everything she had forced unto him._

 _And he would find her again. Of that she was certain as her eyes closed once more, offering her reprieve from the excruciating pain that was her constant companion._

 _He would find her. Just as her parents had before them…_

 _They would always find each other._

 _As long as she didn't die before they could._

 ** _XxXx_**

 ** _Author's Note: Well, darn. It has been my mission from the beginning to make sure this story was from Hook's POV, and it will remain that way going forward... But I couldn't resist a very quick glimpse at Emma!_**

 ** _I love all of you so much for the reviews, favorites, and follows! It's so thrilling to know people are enjoying the story you have to tell... Thank you so much!_**

 ** _Also... Feel free to follow me on tumblr! It's a multi-fandom blog, yes, but there's more than enough Captain Swan!_**

 ** _thecaptainamurica (I love Steve Rogers, m'kay?)_**


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